This week has been a tough week for me, but if I look back I see ups and downs, as usual! Now I decided to count my ups and focus on them!
This week I needed to deal with a few people that have had their ego busted, and no matter what you give, offer or tell them, they will shut down, and shut you and the rest of the world out. Therefore, ending up being a victim only to justify the critiquing and unfairness of this world to their ego.
When they have the choice of being right or getting it right, they prefer to be right, they live to be right and no matter what, the definition of insanity speaks to them and keeps them stagnant.
insanity (n) doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results
What I have learned is that we cannot consume energy trying to encourage those who do not want to change because they will always and only see the “being right” option.
Conversely, when our hearts are open, we do see the other pathway, the “get it right”, as a second option.
So what should we do in this case? Wish them well, and let them be. Which I did, but after getting mad at them… Oops! Yes I am a human being too.
Prior to giving forgiveness we are allowed to feel anger, resentment or whatever it may be that has led us to these painful feelings. I personally believe that it’s a path which one must walk on to the destination of forgiveness. All we need to remember though, is to keep moving, willingness to move on will keep us focused on reaching forgiveness.
When negative emotions arise, is not necessarily wrong. We, as imperfect human beings, also need to honor those emotions. We indeed must reflect upon them before accepting and transforming them. Negative emotions should not be repressed and repelled but only be transformed. We can achieve this only by passing through them, not avoiding them or, we will continuously have them pop up and obscure our views. If they are not transformed properly, they will surface again and will haunt us for a time that could last forever, decomposing many areas of our lives.
Since the Unwanted is there ready to play peek-a-boo at any time, I am sharing with you my “counterbalance” recipe that I rigorously follow when I would rather get it right than BE right:
- I do not watch the news every day
to avoid surrounding surrounding myself with negativity
- I avoid violent movies
- I do laugh therapy
watching fun comedy, this week’s highlight: Bridget’s Jones Baby
- I talk to friends I really care about
and we reciprocate much-needed feelings of support
- I celebrate myself more than usual
I acknowledge and applaud my own accomplishments no matter how big or small
- I have my daily moment of luxury
I am talking about ME moments, a book I love, listening to regenerating music, going to a museum, having a tea by myself or with a good friend, calling my mother and daughter and telling them I love them, and… writing, writing and writing.
Whatever makes my heart joyful = a luxury.
- I find a moment of creativity: Painting
My paintings are fully intended to be seen by absolutely no one- but It’s important that I let my creativity flow with no judgment and I find it extremely cathartic and liberating
Ultimately, reaching a state of joy and “getting it right” does not mean that the Unwanted won’t happen to you, but that your awareness and level of acceptance will allow you to cope better and see the good out of that experience. Exactly why I am not telling you to follow my recipe step by step, but add and subtract the ingredients you need in order to find the best flavor for you!